Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Pregnancy-32 weeks

I traveled to South Carolina (5 hours away from where I live) for my first baby shower this past weekend.  My feet and ankles became swollen.  Other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  I was able to see one friend that I had not seen in person since high school (May 2000).  I was able to see some other people who I probably had not seen in over a year and others who I had not seen in some months.  I was very excited to see everyone.  I was very overwhelmed by the amount of gifts we received for the baby.  It was totally unexpected.  Although I know everyone can’t get a gift, I do feel that it is very rude to come just to eat up everything that you can and not bring any type of gift.  There was at least one lady who did that.  I don’t know how many plates she got, but it was like she was trying to eat everything from everyone else and she did not bring one gift or even a card with well wishes.  I guess I should not focus on the negative because there was so much positive.  I received quite a few diaper cakes as well as a diaper baby.  There were quite a bit of clothes, bibs, socks, burp cloths, etc.  I think we probably got a little bit of everything for the baby.  I was overwhelmed with the love.  I really did not want the shower to end.  I was quite exhausted, but so were the people who helped plan and make it a success.  My poor mom was miserable afterwards.  I think she got a little overwhelmed, and even said she felt like giving up the morning of the shower.  She did a great job with the shower cake.  There was some for us to take home, so we’ve been eating it little by little.
At the shower everyone wanted to touch my stomach.  I really didn’t mind it. It’s a different story at work where some people are mean to me and then try to touch me.  I tell them that I just don’t operate that way.  Most of the people at the shower were like family to me anyway while some of the people at work, well, not so much.  There are times where I really don’t feel like being touched such as when I am overheated.  I have also developed that rash called PUPP on my stomach and my side.  It’s a very itchy rash, and if it’s touched the wrong way, it can lead to more itching.  I have scratched that rash to death, but it still itches.  I can’t wait for it to go away.  That Benadryl spray really burns something fierce.  I guess once you’ve scratched something to the point of soreness that is to be expected. 
We went to childbirth class a couple of weeks ago.  It was on a Saturday from 9 to 5.  It was really a few hours too long.  After we came back from lunch break we took a tour of the hospital.  It was a little painful because my feet were hurting.  There was a lot of information to be gained, but I really know that I do not want to have to have a C-section.  I am hoping that everything will go fine with my labor so that I don’t have to be forced into one like a lot of people that I know.  I was reading today that going to the Chiropractor is one way to get your body ready so that childbirth isn’t too bad and you won’t have to have a C-section.  I have not seen my chiropractor at all during my pregnancy for an adjustment although I clearly need one.  I have gone for a pregnancy massage once.  I really do need to go back.  I will talk to my doctor on Friday about going to make sure it’s still ok. 
I think a lot of people don’t understand the plethora of emotions you deal with while pregnant.  Some people think it’s ok for them to have mood swings and they aren’t pregnant, but it’s not ok for a pregnant woman to have mood swings.  I don’t know how I will be feeling from one moment to the next.  There is always someone telling me what to do or what not to do or just trying to have some type of control over me.  Although pregnancy is beautiful and really something that is very amazing, it can also be very stressful and overwhelming.  You don’t know to expect all of the pain that you’ll be experiencing.  It wasn’t until last week that I really started experiencing pain.  I hate it when people seem to try and diminish the pain that I am feeling.  I try not to complain too much, but some days I could literally cry because I would like a foot, leg, and a back massage, but I just can’t get one.  When I am laying there and I feel my baby doing all of his movements, the pain just seems worth it because at the end of it all, I will be able to hold him and just enjoy him.  BTW, I went to one of my doctors today, and my little one weighed in at 5 lbs 12 ozs, and he is head down.  That really made me nervous.
Until next time,

It's Me

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

28 Weeks-March 4, 2014

The progression of my pregnancy is great. As of today I am 28 weeks along.  I wish that I had been keeping a journal throughout.  I had great intentions of doing so, but they obviously did not pan out.  There were some very emotional times where things were a little difficult, but mostly things have been good. 
One thing I have noticed is that when someone is pregnant, people seem to think they can say whatever they want to you.  It’s infuriating.  I have allowed people to say all types of things to me and get away with it.  If I had responded to a lot of the ignorance, they would have said, “Oh, it’s just your hormones.”  This would have made me even more irritated.  I think that people don’t realize that perhaps the problem is that they’re being a complete and utter a**hole.  I don’t know why it must be this way, but it is. I think people and their insensitiv e comments have been the most irritating so far.  I try so hard not to be mean, although it may not seem like it.  It’s been a real struggle.  When you’re pregnant, there is so much going on in your mind, so much you want to talk about, but sometimes not enough people to share it with.  Instead of listening people tend to just want to give you unsolicited advice.  I will admit that there have been some days that I’ve felt as though I was on an emotional roller coaster and I literally could have just crawled into bed or into a corner and just bawled my eyes out just to relieve some of the tension. 
One of the great and scary things about pregnancy is watching your belly grow.  It’s like one day, you don’t even think you’re showing, but then the next day it seems as if out of nowhere, your stomach is so huge and you cannot function in a normal shirt.  I have gone to workout at home some days and put on a regular t-shirt, and it has been so tight.  It’s crazy because it doesn’t seem as though you’ve gained that much until you try on something that you were once able to wear comfortably and now are unable to fit at all.  I will admit that I have always been kind of scale obsessed to the point that I weigh myself at least once a day.  Since I’ve gotten so far along in my pregnancy, I cannot bear to weigh myself that often.  Now I might weigh myself once per week, if that.
It's Me

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Stop Being So Foolish!

A while back one of my coworkers approached my sister and me about healthy eating and living.  It all boiled down to the fact that he was selling a well known weightloss/nutritional shake.  He talked to us about it and mentioned a 90 day challenge.  He did the whole pitch about how inexpensive it was especially compared to eating out everyday.  First of all, he was obviously under the misguided impression that we both were eating out everyday.  We both cook and normally bring in something for lunch.  When we want to eat out, then we do. He also mentioned the obesity epidemic and wanting to help fight it.  I didn't mind purchasing the shakes because I figured it would be fine for me to replace at least breakfast with one of them. I am a person who loves to cook and loves to eat a nice meal, not a shake, and so is my sister, but we both decided that we would try these meal replacement shakes anyway and at least do the 90 day challenge. I think during the first couple of weeks he gave me some free supplements, which I did not want because I hate taking pills.  I already have a few prescriptions, and that's pretty much the only pills that I will take. He was checking up on me to see how things were going and said that if there was anything he could do to help to let him know.

In the meantime, he had added us on facebook and added us to his challenge group.  One of his other "business partners" also contacted me and asked me how things were going. I thought these people were genuinely interested in helping people, but then it was revealed to me that all they were/are in this for is to make money.  They put other people down who are not interested in selling the products.  They should realize that not everyone wants to be a salesperson.

Now I have a problem with people who have never had a weight problem or any type of health problems trying to tell me how easy it is to lose weight. First of all, a lot of people are unable to identify with the actual struggles that go along with it, so they really cannot empathize.  Secondly, some people have this preconceived notion that if you aren't losing weight it's because you're just lazy.  They don't think that food addiction is real. They don't know about the limitations that excess weight puts on people's bodies or that they may not be able to push their bodies any further because they have already abused them too much. To me if the only thing you have to do in the gym to meet your goal is to tone and not lose weight, then you really cannot identify with someone who needs to lose 100+ pounds.  They would have to work significantly different from you just trying to tone.

This guy put a status up on Facebook yesterday saying that if someone is in the gym and they look more out of shape than he does, then that person doesn't need to say anything to him about fitness because he can't hear it. This really irritated me because looks can be deceiving.  Just because someone looks out of shape, that does not mean that that person is out of shape.  It made me think about Drew Manning from http://fit2fat2fit.com/.  He is a personal trainer who wanted to be able to empathize with the people he would be working with, so he put his health in order by going from fit to fat to fit again.  He now knows some of the struggles and realizes that things are not as easy as he once thought they were.  I just imagined what if he would have been in the gym next to this guy we bought the products from and offered him some advice.  This guy would have been to close minded to receive it because he would have been looking at the outward appearance instead of listening to his words and figuring out if there was any truth to it.  There are a lot of us unfit people in the world who have a lot of knowledge to offer the world about weightloss.  Just because we have seemingly not been able to get it together, that doesn't mean that people shouldn't believe what we have to say.  It's just a little irritating.

The next time you see someone who is seemingly unfit, please don't be so quick to judge them because for all you know, this person could be on a fitness journey where they have already lost a significant amount of weight. 

Until next time,
It's Me

Sunday, December 8, 2013

It's Been a Long Time

It's been a long time since my last blog, a little over 4 months to be exact.  Things have really changed in my life.  One of them is pretty major.  I began to see a new doctor months ago.  This doctor looked at me as a human being, a woman who wanted to have a child, and he told me that he would give me what I wanted. He never once mentioned my weight or the fact that I have PCOS.  It was so refreshing.  My previous doctors acted as though I didn't know that I was morbidly obese and need to lose weight.  That can't be the only reason that I have been having problems conceiving.  I see women who are significantly heavier than I am who have children with no issues.  When you don't look like people, sometimes they seem to dismiss you as insignificant. 

My new doctor had a plan of action for what he wanted us to do. He did a somewhat painful test to check for blockage in my fallopian tubes.  There was no blockage, but he said that even if there was some mild blockage, the test would have gotten rid of it, and that would significantly increase my chances of conception.  He put me on birth control for 2 or 3 months.  After that, I started clomid. I believe it was just 50mg. I took a pregnancy test in the wee hours of the morning of September 22nd. There were two lines meaning it was positive!!! I began to cry because I had taken so many pregnancy tests before that were negative. No matter what, there would only be that one line staring back at me. This was such a big shock.  I will say that my new doctor gave me hope on the first day that I met with him.  It wasn't a question of if I got pregnant, but when. I wanted to tell the whole world as soon as I found out, but I only told my immediate family and a few close friends.  A few weeks ago, I finally told people on Facebook and at my job.  Now I am finally getting around to talking about it on here. As of today I am 15 weeks.  I will be 16 weeks on Tuesday. I have my next appointment on Friday. I hope that I get an ultrasound done on that day.  My first appointment, all they gave me was one ultrasound picture.  On my second appointment there was no ultrasound, but I got to hear my baby's heartbeat with the doppler. I think I will get the 2D ultrasound done at 18 weeks just so that I will have something.

If you have PCOS and think that you cannot conceive, maybe it's the treatment that you are receiving.  I have been through a few doctors and my current doctor was sent to me by God.  Don't give up hope.

Until next time,
It's Me

Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Struggle is Real

I have really been struggling for the past few weeks.  I have gotten so far off track.  I am trying to get it together.  This past week I have started back working out.  I never really stopped,  but I have been lacking consistency. I am really tired of telling the same story time and time again.

One of the exercises I have been doing is Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pounds http://www.walmart.com/ip/Leslie-Sansone-Walk-Away-The-Pounds-Ultimate-Collection-With-Resistance-Band-Full-Frame/11988277.  I have a few of those workouts.  I have been doing the brisk 1 or 2 mile.  It's quite the workout. I bought my mom the main one that I use,  and she thought it was a little tough. It forced her to use her treadmill which she hates.  I have also been doing my dance games on the Wii. I have Just Dance 2 & 3  and the Hip Hop Dance Experience.   I kind of want the 4th installment of Just Dance.  In October they are supposed to be coming out with Just Dance 2014 http://www.amazon.com/Just-Dance-2014-Nintendo-Wii/dp/B00D7UHT0E/ref=pd_ybh_8, and I am ready for it.  It's nice to do a workout that is fun.  I can't even enjoy my pool.  With all the rain we've been getting it's nearly impossible. 
Whatever workout you decide to do,  make it fun!!!


Until next time,
It's Me

Monday, July 1, 2013

Putting it All Together

Well for the first time since I got back from H3 I had started gaining weight. Since I got back home, I had gone down another 6 pounds which may not seem like much, but I had been consistent with it.  Well, the past few weeks I became a little discouraged. I think that I was so excited to write a testimonial for them and was expecting to see it. It’s been almost 2 months and I still haven’t seen it anywhere.  The person who said she was going to contact me never did, and I felt a little bad about the work I put in writing it.  I fell really hard back into a lot of old habits. I started feeling like I couldn’t come out of it.  I gained about 10 pounds.  I began feeling hopeless.  On Saturday evening I was visiting with my oldest sister and niece, and while over there, I just lost it and started crying. I cried because it sucks that I have to put in so much work. I cried because I have so far to go, and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I cried because no matter what, there is no one else who can do this for me; it’s something that I have to do for myself.  I know that it’s not just me and other people have the same struggle, but in that moment it was just about me and my struggle.  I felt so overwhelmed.  I took out some of my literature from H3 and I began making notes.  I felt a little bit better.
I have decided to pick myself up and to make some small changes along the way.  I know it is not going to be easy, but I really want to be successful. I have joined in on the 30 day Green Smoothie challenge.  I have been in a BL weight loss challenge on Sparkpeople.  This week I posted a small loss instead of the gains I had posted for the past 2 weeks.  I have also joined in on an abs challenge on sparkpeople.  I look forward to success in all of my challenges.
If there is anyone else out there reading this, just know that it can be done.  There is nothing easy about it, but I believe in the end I will feel so accomplished. I have to celebrate the victories all along the way.  Keep up the fight.
Until next time,
It’s Me  

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Running on E

I have been so exhausted lately. I think it is because of some medical issues. I am going to get the tests done at the hospital on tomorrow to check for blockage in my tubes. The doctor put me on a hormone pill to thin out my uterus lining, I believe.   It caused me to bleed something fierce.  It has been pretty draining and I feel as though I've been running on empty for the past couple of weeks. I'll be glad when things return to normal. 

I have been trying to force myself to workout, and yesterday my challenge that I am doing on Sparkpeople actually motivated me to get a workout in when I really had nothing planned. This was me after the first half of my workout.
 
I felt very accomplished. I plan on working out today. If the weather permits, I plan on getting in my pool.  No matter what you do, do it well, and please don't go "running on e" like me. Get enough rest and eat well.
 
Until next time,
 
It's Me